About Ashley

Ringleader, rule breaker, bullshit hunter, cancer survivor. On a mission to live a regret-free life. Milagro is my home base and front line. Donuts and peanut butter, but not together.

I can’t unhear that.

One of the lowest points I can remember from cancer treatment had nothing to do with me. I was only a witness. 8am in the cancer center found me waiting for appointment number six billion when I overheard the couple sitting behind me. I don't know what they looked like. I don't know how old they were. I don't know

By | 2018-08-15T20:08:14+00:00 August 15th, 2018|Uncategorized|7 Comments

On Mother’s Day. As a not mom.

The question typically comes just a few minutes into small talk with a stranger. And it stops the convo cold. Them: "Do you have kids?" Me: "No" SCREEEEEEEEECH. *crickets* *whippoorwill* *incredibly awkward silence* I try to bail them out with, "I have dogs instead, they're much easier." But the damage has been done. The camaraderie train has been derailed. We've

By | 2018-05-04T07:43:04+00:00 May 3rd, 2018|Uncategorized|5 Comments

On Groupon. And our trade secret.

We have never once done business with Groupon. Unless you count "business" as them calling and emailing incessantly even after being asked to stop calling and emailing. So how surprised was I to find this incredibly strange (and completely inaccurate) description of Milagro on their website? I anxiously awaited their next attempt at contact (which I knew would be coming)

By | 2018-04-18T20:50:49+00:00 April 18th, 2018|Uncategorized|2 Comments

Poop bags and rocket boosters.

I often wonder, if I added up all the wasted seconds, how many hours of my life I've spent trying to open plastic bags (produce bags at the grocery store, bathroom trash can liners, poop bags at the dog park, you know). And none of these situations are an ideal time for licking my fingers. Who wants fruit someone picked

By | 2018-04-05T19:56:15+00:00 April 5th, 2018|Uncategorized|1 Comment

The New Year.

New year, you're saying? Ashley, it's March. Yes, but on the Ashley calendar, March = New Year. I return to life when daylight savings begins (although having ACTUAL SUNLIGHT is helpful, Kansas). Add March Madness plus opening day = all is well in the world. And for the last 10 years or so, my Marches have been marked by milestones.

By | 2018-03-30T08:25:06+00:00 March 29th, 2018|Uncategorized|3 Comments

If a grandma falls in the forest.

It’s been a year since she died but I still see reminders of Grandma every day. Mostly in the handmade pieces of her that live in my house. Needlepoint tea towels. Quilts. Afghans. Crocheted hand towels. {Want to hear what a horrible person I am? Once, Grandma was helping me with garage sale prep and she came across a box

By | 2018-03-21T09:32:36+00:00 March 20th, 2018|Uncategorized|3 Comments

Tidings of discomfort and joy.

Self-discovery is an inconsiderate bitch. Y’all know I hate winter; it’s no secret (I can hear you: “yes, the cold, the dark, you hate, we got it, enough already”). But at one point recently during one of those zero degree days, I had a harsh realization. And it hurt more than the -15 wind chill. I was brooding for the

By | 2018-02-20T20:04:54+00:00 February 19th, 2018|Uncategorized|2 Comments

Current conditions.

It's December 20th and if you're wondering how we're doing around here, let me fill you in. We have a new water feature in the spa. Isn't it lovely? It's been almost as fun as that time we had the foul smell just in time for Valentine's Day. Ah, the joys of a 95-year-old building. Our computers continue to be

By | 2017-12-20T22:51:31+00:00 December 20th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Current conditions.

Yelped.

Have you ever been personally Yelped? I have. Let me tell you how it feels: not great. I know I'm supposed to be way more on top of Milagro's "web reputation" than this, but last week I was poking around our search results and realized we had more Yelp reviews than before. So I clicked. And there it was. Oh,

By | 2017-12-14T00:09:26+00:00 December 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|4 Comments

All they want for Christmas is you.

Mom and Dad Smith One of my favorite memories from when Smitty and I first started dating was visiting his parents' house at Christmastime, somewhere around 1994/95/96. Mom Smith knows how to Christmas - the decor, the baking, all of it. But what stands out in my head (or my ears, rather) is Dad Smith in the lower

By | 2017-11-29T21:11:29+00:00 November 29th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on All they want for Christmas is you.